Episode 22: So You Set Boundaries And You STILL Feel Burnt Out...Now What?

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Today, I am discussing the reason why you might still feel burnt out as a service based entrepreneur, despite setting boundaries and that's all coming up here on breaking the entrepreneur burnout cycle podcast, so stay tuned.

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Welcome to breaking the entrepreneur burnout cycle. Your go to resource helping service based entrepreneurs break free from burnout. Each week, you'll learn how to identify and eliminate subconscious habits so that you can create a thriving business with greater income, greater impact and the freedom to live life to the fullest while having your time energy and health. This is breaking the entrepreneur burnout cycle.

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Hey, everyone. Welcome into another episode. Today's episode is all about what to do if you've tried setting boundaries in your business and you still feel burnt out. And the reason I'm bringing this up is because this past week, I had met with one of my one on one clients, and one of the recurring themes that we were coaching through was setting boundaries in her business, and specifically setting boundaries with her clients. Now I'm willing to bet that you most likely have already heard to some extent, the advice that to break free from burnout, you need to set better boundaries. Am I right?

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And I'm also willing to bet that the advice went a little something like this, where they just told you, you know, you got to learn to say no, say no to the things that don't honor your time boundaries. Or maybe it was advice that, hey, you have full permission to stand in your power and to say no to the things that do not serve you or that you do not want to do. And I'm also willing to bet that you're someone who is motivated, who wants to learn and grow and get better and make sure that you don't burn out, and my guess is that you've most likely tried to implement this by getting better and being intentional, of saying no to those things and setting boundaries. Am I right?

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But I want to ask you this, did that actually cure your burnout?

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See if you are like most of the clients that I work with, you most likely are still feeling burnt out, despite getting better at saying no to things, getting better at setting boundaries for yourself. And here's what I want you to know, it is actually not your fault.

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Because look, while yes, it is true that learning to say no is a form of setting boundaries.

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It's actually only partial advice, because the reality is setting boundaries is not just about learning to say no, okay, and continuing to believe that boundaries is only about learning to say no, actually could be the very thing that's perpetuating your burnout cycle, because it isn't complete advice. In fact, it's probably analogous to trying to fix a relationship problem by just listening to the advice to say you're sorry whenever you're in an argument or a, you know, a scuffle, right? And we all know that while apologizing and saying sorry helps, there are so many other components and depth to that relationship, like the actions that you take after you say sorry, or the way that you show up in the conversations, and those things that also contribute to fixing the problem. And the same is true with setting boundaries. And what I've seen happens in most service based entrepreneurs who operate in this belief that setting boundaries is only saying no is that it often causes them to be left, not only feeling stuck, you know, when they set the boundaries, and they still feel burnt out and exhausted, but it actually does more harm than good. It leaves them feeling even more confused about why they're still experiencing symptoms in the first place, right, and why they're still feeling this complete exhaustion and this like resentment, sometimes towards their business or towards whatever the situation is. And the reality is, the only reason why you still feel burnt out is because you've only been given part of the tools to succeed at setting boundaries.

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So what are you actually missing? When it comes to setting those boundaries. Well, what I've come to realize is that there are actually three boundaries to learn to set, and when we don't set those three boundaries, that's typically where people continue to feel the exhaustion, kind of the, you know, feelings of resentment, feelings of dread, all of those things when it comes to things in their business. And the three things right, the first one you already know, and this is where most entrepreneurs are very good at recognizing and starting to implement, and that is learning to actually set physical boundaries right, like saying no to people, saying no to things that don't serve you or don't align with your values. But the two that often get overlooked and often that are missing from the equation are energetic boundaries and personal boundaries. And what I mean by personal boundaries is I mean boundaries with yourself. Okay, now we're going to talk about energetic boundaries first. Now, if there's anything I know about you, my guess is that you're impact driven. You're a service based entrepreneur, and it's more often than not that you most likely consider yourself an empath. Am I right where you identify with just that identity term of, hey, I genuinely care about the people that I serve. I put my heart and soul into everything I do, and so you care so deeply about the clients and the communities that you serve because you're a healer, right?

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You're a Empath and a healer who genuinely wants to help others heal, others succeed, others thrive, and you're using your gifts in that way, right? But this is where I tend to see so many service based entrepreneurs burn out. Is because you haven't actually learned how to protect your energy, how to set boundaries around your energy that you bring into each and every client session, or that you bring into everything that you do in your business. And so yes, while you might have gotten better at what you do and saying no to you know, things that don't serve you or that don't honor your time, right, what you may or may not be realizing is that even in the things that you are doing in your business, you might actually be leaking energy because you don't have boundaries or protection mechanisms around your personal energy, right? And here are some signs that this might be what's happening for you is that you might actually notice that you're going through one or more of these signs and symptoms where your business or your programs suddenly feel heavy.

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And when I say they feel heavy, it's interesting, right? Because your programs don't actually have a physical weight to it, but they feel heavy in the sense of energy. They feel heavy in the sense of your emotions, and it just feels like an energetic push to show up for things or to do the work around certain things. Okay? So that's one sign and symptom. Another one might be that you're getting physical symptoms where maybe you get off the call with a client, right or with a group call, and maybe you start to feel completely exhausted, like you start to feel exhausted to the point that you're like, I can't even function after this. I need to take a nap, or I need a break from my business for a second.

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Or maybe you've started to notice yourself telling either your colleagues or your spouse or your friends that some of your clients are what we call energy suckers. They're energy vampires, right? And is, if any of these relate to you, then this could be a great sign that this is one of the boundaries that you're struggling with, is this energetic boundary around your energy. And as a result, even though you're still doing the same tasks that you love doing, you're actually giving more of your energy than you anticipate or that you want to give. And this is where learning, you know, to set energetic boundaries, is so important, and it's something that I teach my clients how to do in the program. Because, look, the reality is that you can expect to grow your business and impact people on a mass scale, right? That's what you're. Striving for. That's what you're shooting for. But how can you expect to do that when you're currently giving your all, giving your everything, and you're giving so much of yourself and your energy away that there's really nothing left in the tank, right? That's not sustainable. And so energetic boundaries is actually one of the biggest areas where most empaths, most healers, most service based entrepreneurs like yourselves, Miss and it's the reason why, even though you might have gotten better at setting physical boundaries by saying no to things that don't serve you right, you're still losing energy in the exchange that you're having currently in your business, with clients, with colleagues, with whatever it is that you're doing okay, and it still is an energetic exchange occurring. And if you don't know how to actually protect your energy, then you're always going to end up feeling exhausted and burnt out.

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Now, the second boundary that I see most service based entrepreneurs miss is personal boundaries, aka boundaries with yourself. Okay, now entrepreneurs, as far as any entrepreneur that I've met, and I'm willing to bet this is this is also true for you.

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Entrepreneurs are really some of the most creative dreamers, the movers and shakers, the innovators, the people who see a problem and they're like, Well, why can't we solve it a different way? Right? They most likely you have gotten into entrepreneurship simply because you see solutions to a problem that most others can't see. And what I've seen in this population, why I love working with entrepreneurs so much is because it allows you to break free from the confines and make a better way of doing things right, so that you can make a better world, a better reality.

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And I love it, because you guys are the people that when you're told that's not possible, or when you're told that's not realistic, you guys are like, F that. I'm going to go out there, I'm going to ask, why not, and I'm going to show them there is a better way, and that's because there is a better way, right?

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But what I've seen in this arena as well is where every strength also comes with a weakness, right? And that weakness so often in this case, is the creativity that drives many entrepreneurs also becomes a weakness. And it also becomes a weakness because we end up kind of like pursuing too many things at once, and not being able to have just that self discipline to know when to say yes to certain ideas and when to say no or not for now to certain other ideas right, when to know when the timing is right, which often leads to too many spokes in the fire, too many things on the plate, and ultimately stretching yourself thin to the point that you're burnt out, okay? And so many boundaries with yourself.

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You know that is a skill. It's a skill that all creatives and dreamers essentially have to master, and it really is about learning how to look at the current season of life, and not just life, but the current season of business that you're in, and beginning to learn when to say yes to ideas and when to say no, right? And it's learning when the timing is optimal for you to pursue other areas or other interests or other creative ideas, and when it's time to just put it in the vault for now, and I'll be honest, like that is not easy for me.

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This was a skill that I definitely had to foster and practice as well. And I always say that, you know, I joke with my husband, Sean. He is my logistics person. He is my realist who is able to kind of just point out, yeah, but you have this going in the fire as well. So is it really the best time? And who's able to kind of just help me set boundaries with myself? Because, let's be honest, I can very easily go down the rabbit hole in creation mode all the time, because I see all of these problems, that these are a better solution to do it too. And you know, what if we did this, and what if we did that? And so I love having him on my team as just kind of a you know, person to who has helped me just foster the skill of learning when to say yes to certain creative ideas and when.

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To say no to certain creative ideas for the business, and not just for the business, but also in my personal life. Okay?

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Because the reality is this is what killed me in my cookie business, and it is what caused me to have so many spokes in the fire where, even though I was successful in business and I was making money, I was like juggling so many things on the plate that I ultimately burnt out in my first business sprinkled with aloha. Because the reality is, I see so often that this happens, not just, you know, with creatives, but it just happens in general, when you have dreamers at work, and I often see so many service based entrepreneurs lacking, you know, either one or both of these boundaries, where they're either lacking boundaries with themselves, or they're lacking boundaries around their energy.

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And because of that, they tend to leak just the time and the energy without even realizing where the leak is coming from.

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So then they hear, you know, the advice set better boundaries, and it leaves them confused, because they're like I am, and I don't know why I keep feeling this way. Well, this might be one of the reasons why. It's because one of these two, or both, you might be lacking in being able to set boundaries around. And the reality is that if you do not identify which one needs help with, then it's analogous to trying to fill a bucket with holes in it where, if you don't know where you're leaking your energy and your time. You could do all the self care. You can do all the things to try to fill the bucket, but you're always going to continue ending up feeling burnt out, feeling empty, feeling drained because you haven't figured out what the hole is, what, where the buckets leaking right? And if this is something that you are realizing from listening to this episode, that it's happening to you, then I want to invite you to book a free strategy call, because this is an amazing call. It's an amazing opportunity to learn and identify what subconscious you know beliefs is causing that energy leak, right? What areas are you missing that is causing you to still feel drained and still feel and not having enough energy, not just for your business, but for the people that you care about, and from there, once we identify what's at the root of why you're continuing to feel this way, then we create an individualized plan to help you move forward so that you can get your time and energy back. And not only that, but you can also start, you know, having a business and a life that you enjoy again, you can start feeling like yourself again. And so you can schedule that by following the link, either in the show notes, or you can go to www dot Rihanna mulcahy.com, forward slash strategy call, and that's all I have for you this week. As always, you know, thank you so much to each and every one of you who joins me every Wednesday, I appreciate you. I appreciate you guys being a part of my community, and I will see you guys next week. All right, take care. You.

Episode 22: So You Set Boundaries And You STILL Feel Burnt Out...Now What?

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