Episode 24: Is Your Past Affecting The Way You Show Up In Your Business?

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In today's episode, we are talking about ways that your past might be affecting the way that you currently show up in your business, and ultimately how it can be sabotaging the results that you are seeing or not seeing, and that's all coming up here on today's episode. So stay tuned. You speaker, welcome to breaking the entrepreneur burnout cycle. Your go to resource helping service based entrepreneurs break free from burnout. Each week, you'll learn how to identify and eliminate subconscious habits so that you can create a thriving business with greater income, greater impact and the freedom to live life to the fullest while having your time energy and health. This is breaking the entrepreneur burnout cycle. You Hey everyone, welcome in before I even dive into today's episode, I just wanted to thank you guys so much for you know, tuning in, whether you're tuning in on your morning route your afternoon, maybe it's even in your evenings. I just wanted to thank you guys so much for joining me every Wednesday for a new episode, for sharing the podcast for you know, just being here and being a part of the community, I don't take your time lightly, and I genuinely appreciate each and every one of you being here. And today, I am very excited because we are talking all about how your past might actually be keeping you stuck in burnout, and not just keeping you stuck in burnout, but how it could actually be inhibiting your success that you deserve in business. Okay, and this was all spurred from an idea, as I was having these conversations with my parents, actually, who were just in town.

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You know, it was so nice to have them here, because they still live back home in Hawaii, where I'm from, and they came to visit us all the way from Hawaii. And they just, you know, were helping us get ready for baby on the way, and just to spend some quality time before baby comes.

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And so it was just such a treat to have them here, because I'm actually really very close with my parents. They are two of the biggest supporters of everything that I do, and so being with them and getting the luxury to just have some downtime with them was just so nice. And, you know, as we were catching up, we were talking about the relaunch of the podcast. You know, they were asking, how did it go? How much fun? You know, it sounds like I was having fun and all these other things. And so we were just kind of chit chatting about the relaunch process and just how each and every one of you has contributed so much to us ranking in the top 100 and just how much fun I have been doing, like having doing all of these episodes. And you know, as we were talking, they were just complimenting and just letting me know how they'd noticed just not only through my voice, but just through the actions that I've taken in the past. You know, few months, or even six months to a year, how much they have noticed from their outside perspective, that I've grown personally, and not just personally, but how much I've grown as a podcaster. I mean, if you were here from the very beginning, if you have been one of the OG listeners, and you've been here from the beginning, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. But if you're just joining us, let me tell you when I first started the podcast, it definitely did not sound the way that it does now.

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In addition, I think it went through like two or three name changes. I had no idea what I was doing. I had no clear vision for the podcast. I was just talking to talk. And on top of that, you know, it was just a personal challenge to me, because even though I wasn't in front of a big group, speaking on stage, it was still challenging, because I had so many stories and limiting beliefs and internal dialog about what my voice sounded like, about whether or not I sounded dumb, about if I was making sense or not. And I had all these stories about how I'm an introvert and how I'm not comfortable being on camera or speaking or doing anything right. And I wanted to ask you this i. How many of us experience the same thing, where we have these internal stories that are telling us who we are, what we can do, what we're capable of, what we're not capable of, who we're not right?

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I'm willing to bet each and every one of us here has some form of an internal story, telling us you know what we can or cannot do, who we are, who we aren't, what we always or what we never do. And have you ever stopped to ask yourself, Who says whether or not I can or can? Who says if I am good at something or if I suck at something, who says this is true or not right? How do we even know that this is truth or a lie? And the reason I bring this up is because the reality is that whatever we believe right, whatever the story is about, whether we can or can't, whether we're good or we suck, all comes down to a matter of perspective.

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It all comes down to the beliefs that we hold. And where exactly do those beliefs come from?

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Well, beliefs, they come from our past, right? They come from a situation or an experience that you have had in the past where you chose to do something and then that outcome based off the action, right? You then interpreted what that means, right? You interpreted the outcome based off the action that you took to mean something about you, or to mean something about your identity as a business owner. And what most of us do, because it's actually in human nature, and because it's actually the jobs of our brains, is we then infuse these experiences into our own identities. I mean, just look at how many statements that start out with the letter I right or I am. And if these stories become infused into your belief about who you are, then it's no wonder that you start to find yourself feeling this intense anxiety and this intense overwhelm around doing tasks that do not correlate with what you identify as right. These beliefs become the lens in which you're viewing the world, and it becomes the lens in which every decision that you make or do not make in your business becomes filtered through. And we can all agree that the results that we see in business, and not just in business, but in life, have a direct correlation to the choices and the decisions that we make on a daily basis. And so how is it that those beliefs are filtering your decisions? And ultimately determining your results, right? And so the important question then becomes, how are those beliefs driving your behaviors, and how are they sabotaging the choices and the decisions that you are trying to make in your business? Because I'm willing to bet that it actually has led to a significant amount of situations where you know what you need to do to move the needle forward in your business, and yet you find yourself procrastinating, or you find yourself coming up with all the excuses saying, I don't know how, when the reality is that the only thing that's keeping you stuck is not so much that you don't know how. It's not so much that you aren't ready. It's because your brain is telling you that you're not right because of a story that you're holding on to about what you're good at or what you're not good at, and therefore what you can or cannot do. And if this is you, then I'm about to share with you one of the ways that I not only use for myself, but that I teach each and every one of my clients to use so that they do not get stuck in this cycle because you're not alone.

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In fact, I don't know any entrepreneur who at some point has not faced this right, where they have a story about themselves and their capabilities and their readiness, and that keeps them stuck. In fact, I still find myself in situations where the internal dialog and the self doubt gets extremely loud in my head. I just have been practicing these tools for, you know, a few years, if not three, four years, and I've been practicing these tools and these exercises, and it's become a discipline. And that I'm just able to catch it quicker and work through it quicker. So it's come a lot faster for me, and the same can be true for you, but we've got to change the lens in which you interpret the situations and the meaning that you give these situations. And when you do that, what happens is you begin to process the like everything differently. You be begin to look at things differently, you begin to see things differently, and you begin to internalize things differently. In fact, you probably don't internalize things because you just see it merely as another data point, rather than it meaning something about you, right? And so to begin the process of changing what you believe or how you interpret a situation is to first start recognizing how you are interpreting the situation in the first place, like, for example, if you did a webinar, no one registered, or no one showed up, and you start feeling like, Oh, my God, I suck. I must not be good enough. I must have something that you know people don't want. I must, you know, people just must not like me.

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All of these things, then that's your interpretation of the situation, right? So that would be an example of recognizing, how am I interpreting this situation? And if you're not sure, typically, your emotions are a great indicator of what is the way I'm interpreting it, like if you're feeling these negative emotions, like you're feeling depressed or sadness or anger or frustration or whatever it is, and I use the term negatively in quotations, because they really are just feelings, it Most likely will tell you what your attention is on, right? Are you focused on what you can be proud of in this situation, which is that you put yourself out there, you tried something you you know, had the courage to say yes to your dream, or are you focusing on the lack the things that didn't work, the things that didn't happen for you, the people who didn't show up. And then the second part of the exercise is then about coming up with other explanations for why the situation happened the way it did, right? Why the outcome happened so in the using the same example of like, if you did a webinar, no one showed up or no one registered, right? It's about challenging your brain and asking yourself, okay, is that the only explanation that it could mean? Well, probably not right. Like it could also mean, oh, you know, these people registered, but they forgot, or they registered and then they got busy, or they lost track of time, and they're just going to watch the replay, right? Or it could also mean, hey, no one registered, but that just means I am learning a new skill, and this is something that I need to get better at, right? And why this is so important is because what you're doing here is you are showing your brain essentially, that it's not black and white, that it doesn't mean If This Then That. It doesn't mean that if this happened, then that equals this, right? It just means that this is the way you're interpreting it, and so if you change the way you interpret it, you change essentially, the beliefs in the long run, because you take the power back, you take the power away from that story being repeated, right? Because it could mean so many things, and we just don't know. And then it's about asking yourself, what choice or what would I like to focus on? How do I want to interpret this? And there's a famous quote by Wayne Dyer, which says, change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change, right? If we change the way that we interpret these situations and give it new meaning, then it changes the way we show up, and it changes the behaviors or the decisions we make after that, and that leads to all of those different choices and actions and different results, which is why you hear all of these cliche quotes all the time about it's not about falling down. It's about how you get up all of these things, because it really is about not making it mean something about you. You. And instead choosing to focus on something else, and this isn't a matter of like, just think positive. No, this is a matter of truth. This is a matter of like, you don't actually know that no one likes you, right? We are just assuming that you don't actually know if you don't have something that someone wants, unless they specifically tell you, to your face that I don't like you, or your offer sucks, then you actually don't know.

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You're just jumping to an assumption here based off the interpretation that is currently happening, and we give so much of our power and so much of our energy to these negative stories and interpretations that we just jump to these conclusions, and yet we never question them. We just believe them as if they're absolute truth, when the reality is as business owners, our results are contingent on other people's decisions and actions, and we can't control what other people do. No matter how hard you try, you cannot control how other people think, how other people show up, the actions that they take or don't take, and so we're just jumping to these conclusions and taking them as absolute truth, when what they are is really just assumptions.

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They're merely how we're choosing to interpret the situation at hand. And so I want you to try this exercise on, and, you know, let me know if it helped and how it helped by shooting me a DM on Instagram.

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You can find me at Dr dot Rihanna Mulcahy, I will link that up in the show notes, but I'd love to hear like if you went through these steps of this exercise. How did it help you?

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Because that is, ultimately the goal is, it's not about always being positive. It's just a matter of not giving your power and your energy away to the interpretations that you might have gotten to and letting it derail you from taking that next step or moving the needle forward even one degree, right?

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And so I hope that you found this helpful again. Let me know on Instagram. Shoot me a DM at Dr dot, Rhianna Mulcahy, and I look forward to just hearing how it helped you. As always, I hope that each and every one of you knows just how powerful and how capable and worthy each and every one of you is, and I'm always rooting for each and every one of you for your thriving business and your thriving life, and I will see you guys on another episode, but until then, bye for now. You.

Episode 24: Is Your Past Affecting The Way You Show Up In Your Business?

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