Episode 51: Why The Phrase "I Need To" Holds You Back from Success

Are you constantly feeling overwhelmed with your to-do list? What if the phrases you use daily, like "I need to" and "I have to," are more than just expressions—they're barriers to your well-being and success? In this episode, we dissect the psychology behind our productivity-driven culture, revealing how the belief systems we hold can not only lead to burnout but block you from having the very things you crave.

Join us as we navigate the subconscious fears that fuel the phrase "I need to" when faced with daily tasks. Through impactful stories and actionable insights, we challenge you to rethink your priorities and language surrounding productivity. Learn how to transform these habitual phrases into empowering affirmations that foster a more balanced approach to life and work.

Discover how understanding the true implications of your thoughts can unlock the abundance you've been seeking. We'll provide you with practical exercises to help you identify the deep-seated beliefs hindering your progress. Tune in and take the first step toward breaking the burnout cycle—your peaceful, productive life awaits!

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Transcript

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If you've ever been short on time, then have you ever noticed that you immediately go to the phrase I need to or I have to get insert, whatever it is done?

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Well, today I'm about to show you why this is actually a sign of your subconscious kicking in fear, and what that means.

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So stay tuned.

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Hi, I'm Dr Riana Mulcahy and after burning out not just once, but twice, I've uncovered that burnout becomes a never ending loop unless you uncover the subconscious beliefs at the root of it all.

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Each week, I'm bringing you brain-based tools and strategies that will help you to identify and rewire subconscious blocks keeping you from the success, happiness and freedom that you really want.

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This is Breaking the Burnout Cycle Podcast.

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Breaking the Burnout Cycle podcast.

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The other day, I was on a coaching call with one of my one-on-one clients and she said this phrase almost in every single sentence, and the phrase was I need to, and I want you to think about that.

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How often do you say that exact phrase on a daily basis, whether it's I need to get this done, I need to go to the store, I need to get the laundry done right, whatever it is.

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Typically it's around your to-do list and all the things that you have to get done, and I want you to think about that phrase, because one of the biggest things that people miss is, a how often they say this and, b how it actually is, hiding a subconscious story underneath the surface.

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And we talked about this.

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Right, she was going through this entire situation where she was essentially looking at her to-do list.

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She was getting overwhelmed because she saw how much things she had on the to-do list and, as she was, you know I call it story downloading, where they tell me what has been coming up for them over the past week since I last saw them.

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She was talking about just the things that were triggering her and one of those were the to-do list and, essentially looking at all the things she needed to get done list and essentially looking at all the things she needed to get done.

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And, you know, I asked her a simple question.

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I said all right, what happens if you don't get that done?

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And she paused for a second because I don't think that she had ever asked herself that question and I think many of us haven't asked ourselves that question either.

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But ask yourself what is it that you believe will happen if you do not get those things done, and what you'll typically find is that the phrases of I need to, whatever it is, fill in the blank.

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I need to get my podcast recording done, I need to get my taxes done, whatever that phrase is.

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That's only part of the statement, and what you'll typically hear me say is that we've got two types of beliefs.

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Okay.

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The first type of belief is causal, meaning there's a cause and effect, that if this, then that, if this, then that.

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The second type of belief is a little bit different.

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Where it's an equivalent meaning, this equals that.

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So, for example, sales equals pushy.

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That's a belief, okay.

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And if you think about the phrase I need to get insert the blank done, I need to get insert the blank done, I need to get this done, there's typically a consequence hiding in the subconscious around that, and so the belief with this is a very subtle one, but it's a.

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It's a belief Nonetheless.

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It's a causal belief of if this, then that, if I don't get this done, then insert whatever consequence your brain is painting the picture of.

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And so in this example, right, she essentially was looking at all of the things that she had to get done and she was feeling a ton of overwhelm around it.

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And when I asked her that simple question of if you don't get it done, then what the story that her brain was making it mean is that if she's not getting all of these things done, then who is she to lead her six-figure company?

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That she wasn't disciplined enough, she wasn't good enough, she right, and all of these stories that the brain was then drawing conclusions from that because she couldn't get it all done, that's what it meant about her, and that is exactly where so many people don't realize, because I think, you know, we've become addicted to this fast paced society, this fast paced productive society where you're always getting things done, the hustle culture and the amount of things you need to get done.

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We wear it like a badge of honor where it gives us some validation of like, look at all the stuff I'm getting done and I bring that up because this is actually one of the biggest subconscious beliefs that I have seen gets in the way of being able to hit your goals without stress and overwhelm, and in fact, it is one of the biggest reasons why I see so many of the high achievers that I coach burnout, and so if you are looking to break the burnout cycle, then it starts with looking at you know, doing a word audit of the number of times that you tell yourselves I need to get X done.

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Alternatively, right, you might be saying it differently.

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I have to is another way to say it, I have to is another way to say it, or I should is another way to say it.

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And so my challenge to you in this episode is I want you to do a phrase on it.

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I want you to look at you, know the amount of times that you hear yourself saying I have to, I need to or I should.

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And then I want you to ask yourself and if I don't, then what?

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And what that will show you typically is the subconscious belief that is driving the fear behind your decisions, your actions and, ultimately, your results.

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Right, and if we want different results, if we want to know the secret to unlocking abundance without stress and overwhelm, then we have to start with looking at what is driving my behaviors that continues to get me the same results, and, in this case, burnout.

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If you want to break the burnout cycle, then it starts with looking at what is driving my behaviors that is keeping me in burnout.

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And this is a great place to start, because it'll show you what consequences you are fearing and trying to avoid.

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So give that a try.

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Let me know in the DMs on Instagram what came up for you, and if you want to go deeper into this and you want like say you do this exercise and you come up with what it is that you are fearing will happen if you don't get all the things done and you want to learn the brain-based tools to eliminate that, then shoot me a message on Instagram and we will get you scheduled for a discovery call where we will go deeper into how that story is getting in the way of you hitting your goals without stress and overwhelm.

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So try that out and I will see you guys on next week's episode.

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Bye for now.

Episode 51: Why The Phrase "I Need To" Holds You Back from Success

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